T. K. Wolf, Inc.

Stalking on Campus: What Every College Student Should Know
Dr. Ann Dapice, NU'74, GR'80
Thursday, February 8
5:30-6:30 pm
Sweeten Alumni House
3533 Locust Walk

College campuses are an ideal environment for stalkers since they are relatively closed-in communities, where daily routines and regular behaviors can be easily monitored. During an academic year, 13% of college women are stalked and modern technology expands the power of stalkers to harass and locate their victims. Students, faculty, and staff are all at risk. Come hear Dr. Ann Dapice, Chair of Penn's Association of Native Alumni and co-organizer of the Stop Stalking Conference in October 2006, discuss her research. She will examine the belief systems that enable stalking, analyze recent brain imaging of perpetrators and identify barriers to effective deterrence. Learn what you can do about this problem through legal and social interventions.

Interview Questions by Nicole Maloy

INTRODUCTION

1) What is stalking by definition?

First, let me say that all of us know the human emotions I’ll be talking about today, even if you have never been a stalker or stalking victim. They include abandonment, betrayal, rejection, romantic attraction and love. But some of these can take pathological directions. Shakespeare and other great writers have long written with great eloquence on the topic we call stalking.

Forensic psychiatrist and stalking expert, H. Reid Meloy, uses the term “obsessive following.” The pattern of “following” takes many forms: phone calls (landline and cell), home surveillance, following on foot and by car, showing up in the workplace or classroom, sending letters and emails, spreading gossip to family, friends and coworkers, “gas lighting” (an old movie term which means trying to make victims think they are “losing their minds”), damaging property, threatening to harm others, breaking and entering, sending unwanted gifts, physically and sexually assaulting victims, injuring and killing pets, kidnapping, and arson. Stalkers wiretap, attach tracking devices to cars, computers and phones, and engage in systematic mail theft. They break into financial accounts and records through electronic means.

Stalkers excel in planning, scheming and subtlety. They use mind games and let the victim know through shifting strategies that they can find the victim anywhere. Stalking victims often report such bizarre behaviors that they have trouble convincing others of what is happening—especially friends, family, law enforcement and counselors.

Whether, celebrities, strangers, acquaintances, or partner relationships, the common denominator is a real, desired, or perceived relationship by the stalker with a victim. Stalking behavior seems to originate with once adaptive mechanisms for mating and reproduction— the sex drive or lust (testosterone), attraction or romantic love (dopamine) and attachment or companion love (vasopressin and oxytocin). The sex drive motivates people to consider a variety of possible partners for survival of the species. Attraction causes people to focus their energies on a specific individual. Attachment motivates people to stay around long enough to raise their offspring. These mechanisms in an individual with personality disorders such as narcissism or borderline personality combine in dangerous and often lethal ways. Perpetrators often have attachment problems from early in life which may be the result of parental loss, neglect, abuse or abandonment, and may also be related in some cases to genetic defect.

More than one million women and nearly 400,000 men are stalked in the US every year. Three people become victims of stalking every minute in the US. Male victims are hesitant to report stalking and only about half of all stalking cases are ever reported.

A caution regarding romantic love, sexual activity and the violence potential: sexual intimacy is the largest factor in predicting stalking violence with frequencies over 50 per cent where sexual intimacy has occurred, but it’s not just having sex (that can just be lust), it’s the intimacy of shared secrets and revealed vulnerabilities. Consider whether you want to become intimate with someone you might not want to be stalked by!

So, the typical stalker: 1) Is stuck in the brain function related to attraction (addicted to one’s own dopamine)—remember the two words dopey and dangerous! 2) Has a personality disorder (not to be confused with psychopaths or psychotics). c) Has problems of attachment. However, the reason that stalking is allowed by society is a different matter.

2) Why is stalking so prevalent on college campuses?

During an academic year, 13% of college women are stalked—one out of every seven to eight on a campus. One study shows about a third of students on campus have been stalked during their lifetimes. College campuses are an ideal environment for stalkers since they are relatively closed-in communities, where daily routines and regular behaviors can be easily monitored. More importantly—both stalkers and their victims are measurably more intelligent than average. The higher intelligence of stalkers accounts for their resourceful and manipulative skills when their intelligence is misdirected. Accordingly, stalking victims and perpetrators have relatively higher education and are more likely to go into professions and higher status jobs. Often stalking perpetrators are regarded well by the universities for their high abilities. Often praised and rewarded for their talents, their narcissism may not be obvious.

Electronic technology and experts are everywhere on campus to help the stalker. (A new model stalking law to try to address electronic issues was just released in January.) Important and sometimes lifelong relationships may be formed on campus, whether with other students, faculty, staff or administrators. Kindness can be misconstrued and if there is a misperception of the nature of the relationship, problems can develop.

Stalkers are predators, and if in positions of power, can have even more than usual control over others. On one campus, a psychology professor, also former student counseling director, was later learned to have stalked three men—all leaders in the community. Eventually they each learned they’d been stalked by the same woman. Her skill in target shooting was used in threats against them. She was armed at all times. She constantly called, harassed, threatened, pretended a suicide attempt, stole one pet and killed another, and destroyed property. It isn’t known if any students were victims. The male victims were hesitant to tell anyone for the reason that most men don’t report being stalked. Since then she has had several last name changes, been employed by a number of universities, and is potentially dangerous on a number of levels.

3) How can someone tell if he or she is being stalked versus simply having an admirer?

Since stalking is related to processes once adaptive, and since relationships, romantic love and commitment are values in our society, it is often difficult to know when stalking first begins. People often respond by trying to be nice to the stalker, even though they’re not interested. Narcissistic and borderline tendencies are not evident immediately and people can become involved without being aware of it. Some of these individuals are honored in their communities and may be seen to be good people. Research has long shown women to be most likely to give “benefit of the doubt” and easily push aside initial reservations. Campus victims will say they felt sorry for the person, didn’t want to cause hurt feelings and went to have a cup of coffee—that they regretted later.

Of course jealousy and possessiveness are red flags. But the dopamine phase, romantic love, by its nature focuses on only one person at the exclusion of others and it’s easy for jealousy to appear. If people don’t respond to a strong and polite “no,” that’s a sign as well. Victims will sense a growing awareness of discomfort, of neediness in the perpetrator—a feeling of being invaded. Let me give an example of a situation with an “incompetent stalker.”

Back in the 80’s I went to New England for a month on a fellowship. One of the other nominated Fellows contacted me. He lived an hour away and needed a ride to New England but would have a ride on the way back. I agreed, he and his wife came to our house, met me and my husband and we headed for the campus where the Fellowship would take place. As we drove we were discussing an academic topic which was his specialty, but I noticed he kept watching me! Once we arrived on the campus there, he showed up everywhere I went for a month. There were about 40 Fellows and I developed a group to come sit with me, walk with me to meetings, etc. He would still try to get me to the side. We all felt sorry for him, at the same time he was not allowed to invade my space. As part of this, I had witnesses to his following should it have been necessary. I’ll return to that later. He was probably not dangerous, but, unfortunately, these “incompetent stalkers” who are less “street smart” are most likely to be arrested, while the very dangerous ones go free!

VICTIMS

4) What data exists to support the idea that certain people are more or less likely to become victims of stalking?

I’ve mentioned stalking prevalence on campus, but while people from all racial and ethnic groups are stalked, American Indian women are more likely to be stalked (and by non-Indians) than any other group (17%), compared to white women (8.2%), African-American women (6.5%) and Asian/Pacific women (4.5%). American Indians have greater violent victimization in general than any other group, and unlike other groups, it is more likely to be non-Indian against Indian violence. But what is different in stalking statistics, unlike in domestic violence, African-Americans and Hispanics have lower numbers than whites.

We are repeatedly asked why Indians have so much more stalking and have no solid evidence. One pattern that comes to mind is that Indians are, by my own research, more likely to be introverted than whites, and especially than blacks and Hispanics. Helen Fisher, whose research I mentioned earlier, and I have discussed the possible role of psychological type in stalking. Stalkers have sufficient social skills to obtain help from others in their stalking activities, but appear more likely to be introverted (vs. extroverted) and thinking (vs. feeling) in their stalking behaviors. This does not explain why victims would be more likely to be introverted except that extroverts are more likely to keep an active social support system around them that serves as a barrier of protection from the stalker, while introverts, under stress, would tend to isolate themselves. We have some clinical evidence from our stalking victims, whose Myers-Briggs Types we have tested, that this is the case but there has been no research to formally assess the role of psychological type in stalking. We do know that stalkers try above all to isolate the victim; they don’t want “people barriers.”

We also know from clinical experience, that victims are seen as strong leaders in their communities, they are not the passive people often portrayed—whether men or women. Again, they are smart and well educated.

5) What should someone do upon the realization that s/he has become a victim?

We are all victims—differently. The “designated victim” is the least powerful, least likely to be believed by family, friends, counselors or law enforcement. So the question becomes: What can we all do when there is stalking in our immediate world? Stalking behaviors are so bizarre that they are hard to believe—and the research shows that especially counselors, law enforcement and the courts believe the perpetrators’ well designed and planned stories over the victims’ reports of behavior which is difficult to believe. For whatever reasons, men also tend to believe other men over women, and women too often believe men over women as well. Stalkers begin preparing and telling their stories and isolating the victims usually well before the victims are aware of what is happening.

There is also a tendency to blame the victim. It serves to protect us that such won’t happen to us. An example in the real story behind the movie, “Stalking Laura,” where company based stalking existed, the HR person asked the quiet, smart and well educated Laura (played by Brooke Shields), “Do you always smile like that.”

In the past two years, the Stalking Resource Center in DC has written that “customary instructions may actually be placing victims in further danger.” We’ve learned that it is crucial to separate much of the advice given to domestic violence victims. Both may be involved, just as you can have a brain tumor and intestinal parasites at the same time, but treating them as the same disorder can be dangerous. Protective or restraining orders often do work in domestic violence, but rarely work with stalkers who ignore them and may be incited to violence when they’re filed. Another difference is that police respond better when there is bleeding and bruising than when there is stalking. Family and friends see symptoms when victims are battered, but will likely not see stalking behaviors until it is too late. There is real agreement that the victim should not be the one to confront the perpetrator. Yet that’s what most often ends up happening because others don’t or won’t.

If you are being stalked, go nowhere alone if at all possible! Take small cameras, cell phones, small tape recorders with you always—along with tested pepper spray and stun guns. Have friends ready to help you use them. Don’t just document, but get witnesses and proof for everything. Part of the stalking scenario is that the perpetrator will have already been telling family and friends about your faults and “craziness” long before the victim knows what is happening. You may not be believed by some of your closest family members and friends. It’s not personal, but it is scary and painful. Such people really don’t understand. But don’t stop telling people. Know that disbelief is just part of the pattern. Find someone who will listen and understand. You will need people to help you document because sometimes you will be too afraid and upset to document well. After a few weeks of continued events victims begin to forget themselves what has happened. There are many bizarre events that may go on for months and even years. For this reason, victims are not believed in court if they get confused about dates and times and have to refer to notes. Know that most police reports will not contain the information you have given, have someone there with you whenever possible for police visits. In fact, police reports may give equal or greater weight to stories from the perpetrator. Don’t let your lack of success in what you try cause you to feel like you haven’t done the right thing. Stalking victims reported in a major research project that “they were at a loss as to the right thing to do and everything they tried turned out wrong.”

6) When people think of stalking, they usually imagine a female victim with a male perpetrator. What can you tell us regarding the prevalence of women stalking men?

By comparison, 94 percent of the stalkers identified by female victims and 60 percent of the stalkers identified by male victims by were male. Fifteen to twenty per cent of stalkers are women. But we know our numbers are incomplete, especially for males.

Part of the problem is societal attitude of macho and conquest. Women and children in European and early US history have been considered to be possessions and not equal human beings. Men who had more compassionate attitudes or who could not or did not defend themselves physically have been considered to be wimps. To this day, women who are more assertive and men who are less aggressive are considered not gender appropriate. Just the fact that a man is stalked, i.e., a possession being controlled by another, puts him in a negative light to authorities.

Another problem is that most of us have been rejected or betrayed and that leaves us ready to believe that victims “deserve” what they get because they are the one who are the rejecters in stalking. Some cultures would not allow a woman to reject a suitor—especially if the relationship was planned by the family.

7) What legal recourse does a stalking victim have and what challenges will a stalking victim face in the legal system, and how can those challenges be overcome?

All states now have laws against stalking. They vary in nature, but it is against the law to stalk. Many of the behaviors of stalkers are illegal in and of themselves without stalking laws—breaking and entering, harassing phone calls, breaking into financial accounts, damaging property, threats to kill, killing pets, etc. These are rarely used in stalking situations however. In Pennsylvania, the stalking law rightly separates domestic violence from stranger or acquaintance stalking, the problem is that a restraining order can be quickly obtained if it’s domestic violence (or sexual relationship), but a separate private criminal complaint has to be filed if it’s not. Such complaints cost money and can take months, relying on the willingness of the perpetrator to show up in court. While restraining orders are generally not helpful to stalking victims, they are the first question “911” operators will ask when a call is made. “911” operators do not wait to listen to the vagaries of the law that this is stalking but not a case of domestic violence. It doesn’t appear to them to be an emergency call and police will not then be sent. Meanwhile, given the conflict in law, Pennsylvania police have told us that they often tell the victim to say there is a sexual relationship even when there isn’t—which can cause problems when it goes to court. In addition, a US Supreme Court decision in 2005 determined that police are not required to enforce protective orders.

A recent conversation with a victims’ services spokesperson in Pennsylvania revealed that Pennsylvania police, like police everywhere, still lack knowledge regarding stalking—its high rate of violence compared to other criminally violent groups, and that the risk of homicide for stalking victims is more than 200 times that of non-stalked persons living in the US. Research shows that across the US most cases do not result in criminal intervention and very few arrests result in criminal prosecution. H. Reid Meloy, has written that prosecuting and law enforcement agencies are “loathe to get involved” and that denial of the serious nature of this criminal behavior—and the high risk of violence—is “still endemic among mental health professionals and law enforcement professionals.” This was demonstrated in a 2002 report from the US Department of Justice, Office of Community Oriented Policing Services where the report, noted that, at the Philadelphia Police Department training on stalking, trainers were told by police that “This is not a problem here” or, “This is not really a crime” or, “Isn’t this a waste of my time?”

PERPETRATORS

8) How can someone tell if he or she has crossed the line from being an admirer to being a stalker?

Many people will reflect on their own relationships and realize that at sometime they “checked up” on their partner—calling, driving by, etc. The difference is that most realize that these are not healthy actions and if there is so little trust, they need to talk to the partner and consider ending the relationship. That seems to me to be “the line.”

Generally, the stalker’s defended personality won’t allow such self honesty. Yet, while telling counselors and police one story, they often brag to the victim how they have tracked them down. Stalkers see themselves as justified in their actions because of the victim’s rejection of them. Periodically, they may realize what they’ve done and even admit to it only to return to the same behaviors. They will say, “I can’t stop!” This is the sign of an obsessive/compulsive person. The “can’t stop” is the telling point.

9) You’ve been doing research on the brain imaging of stalkers. What prompted you to get involved in that?

In all our work in our organization we’ve found brain imaging information to be helpful in treatment of difficult problems, whatever their nature. When we began seeing so many stalking victims—and so few perpetrators, and realized that such personality disorders fueled by abandonment rage, will usually show a poor response to mental health interventions and that the only choices were treatment and prison, we wanted to know more about what is happening in the brain. Short jail sentences, when stalkers are rarely arrested and there is little result from treatment, mean that victims live in dread of the perpetrator’s release. Little is being done for the children of stalkers and 64 per cent of stalkers have biological children. It doesn’t help the children just to lock the parent up. And the poor response in stopping the behavior gives the message to children that this behavior is acceptable to society.

10) What does the research entail?

We have had visits and discussions with three researchers about brain imaging—Britton Chance at Penn Medical School for Near Infra Red (NIR) imaging technology which, unlike present lie-detectors, accurately indicates when people tell lies; a colleague, Carl Anderson, at Harvard Medical School for functional Magnetic Resonance imaging to examine the brain in action, and Daniel Amen at University of California, Irvine, where SPECT imaging is used as part of clinical diagnosis and work is done with the California courts to image violent offenders. We remain in touch with each of these individuals. In discussions with Britton Chance there was the challenge of obtaining unwilling perpetrators for testing, but we realized that most victims would be glad to demonstrate that they are telling the truth when so often they are not believed.

Meanwhile, we learned that Reid Meloy and Helen Fisher had used fMRI imaging in their research regarding romantic love and rejection and had conversations with them. This is information presented above shows the elevated activity of the “feel good” chemical dopamine in romantic love. In stalking this leads to heightened energy, focused attention and intense motivation to “pursue the victim.” The right amygdala, involved in fear and other negative emotions, is deactivated and this may cause stalkers to be unable to pay attention to the dangers of their actions. There are obsessive thoughts about the loved one where stalkers cannot get obtrusive thoughts out of their minds. The negative feedback loop between dopamine and serotonin results in suppressed activity of serotonin and obsessive thoughts. Amen’s SPECT imaging found left temporal lobe problems, increased cingulate activity and decreased activity in the prefrontal cortex.

11) What did you expect to find, and what surprises have you encountered along the way?

We are still looking to see if there are differences in parts of the brain where violence and anger control issues reside and the parts of the brain where obsession and narcissism are demonstrated. We shouldn’t have been surprised to find another survival adaptation involved just as we’ve found in fight/flight mechanisms, but we were a little.

12) Once this project is complete, what are the next steps?

If we can complete the NIR project to detect lying among stalkers and victims, we’d like to see these used by local police departments. Even if perpetrators don’t cooperate, victims’ ability to show that they are telling the truth would be critical to their safety and wellbeing. With better understanding of stalking in the brain, we may be able to use electrical stimulation to normalize the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin in the same way we use it on our facility for treatment in addiction, depression, and post traumatic stress now.

It is important to realize that the more stalkers stalk, the worse their brains get. What the victim and the perpetrator need most is for the stalking behavior to be stopped before greater violence and death occur. One perpetrator said, “She was like a drug…that I needed…my high was being with her…I felt like dying when not with her.” After the victim obtained a protective order, he murdered her. He said he let his obsession ruin his life. “I lost it all because of my obsession…This obsession was bad…It was like being in heaven and in hell at the same time.”

ACTION

13) What can people do to reduce the likelihood of becoming victims of stalking?

Have a support system. If you have any doubts in a relationship or in approaches by a stranger or acquaintance, tell someone immediately. Tell family and friends first before the perpetrator does. Perpetrators who are strangers will even contact friends and relatives they don’t know to tell their versions of the “truth.”

14) What can people do if they believe a friend or co-workers is:

a. A victim of stalking?

Give continuous social contact and support. Have several persons be sure the victim isn’t isolated. Walk to class with the victim or help with transportation to work. One student on a large state university campus had members of the football team walk her to and from classes. Learn what policies are on campus and at the workplace. Listen to the person. Victims become very difficult to listen to because their stories are so hard to comprehend and losses so great. Yet it is not a good time for formal counseling. Victims are in what we now call “continuous acute traumatic stress,” not post traumatic stress.” They may not make sense, they may have panic attacks, they may not trust that they can talk to you because others haven’t listened and instead have believed the perpetrator. While listening to the victims’ realities and believing these realities is crucial—since statistics show that there are seldom fake reports, counseling for the victim is of little benefit until the stalking is stopped. It’s like surgery in the middle of the battlefield where bombs continue to explode. It’s not the time to tell them to make safety plans when their safety plans didn’t work, or to tell them what they did wrong. You will need friends to take turns listening. It’s time to focus all effort on stopping the stalking. It’s rarely a good idea to “lock victims up” in shelters while the perpetrator goes free—and stalkers will find them at the shelters when no one else can.

b. A perpetrator of stalking?

Don’t confront the stalker alone. Our clients have often gotten the best response from peer, not professional pressure. Avoid violence. If you think things may become violent, get law enforcement advice if possible. Get several people together with evidence for an informed visit. Peer effects are often better than law enforcement. Stalkers don’t respect the law, protective orders, etc., but they do rely on help and support from friends and colleagues for help in their stalking. Thus peers act as more of a legitimate authority to the stalker.

15) What can people in general do to effectively deter stalking?

Post this information on walls across campus—library walls, bathrooms, billboards. Inform people. Give them the statistics. Most don’t really know what stalking is. Tell people if you have suspicions about someone. Tell people you’re concerned when they seem to be isolating themselves or being isolated by a partner. On the campus, form a stalking support group, write social science papers and projects on stalking. Most basic social science textbooks don’t include stalking. Volunteer to help Britton Chance here at Penn Medical School with the NIR Imaging project. See that employers don’t fire the victims, but instead call police on the offenders who harass workers and co-workers. See that police come when someone is being stalked. They’re more likely to come when neighbors complain than when the victim calls. Testify in court. Lobby for more effective laws. See that tracking devices are used by perpetrators—appropriate since perpetrators so enjoy using them on their victims. A half-way house should be considered for perpetrators—where they can work and contribute to family and society while they’re monitored. Stalkers are generally knowledgeable and hard workers—and remember, it’s not good for them to stalk and it’s sure not good for victims, their children, their families, their friends, and their community. When people use the term lightly to brag that they know they’re loved because the partner “stalked them until they gave in,” don’t let it pass. And more…

The National Center for Victims of Crime News for 1/12/2007 states, “Stalking is a deadly serious crime that has life-altering impact on victims, and we need to do a better job in this country to hold stalkers accountable and keep victims safe.”

References

Amen, D. G. 1998. Change Your Brain, Change Your Life .NYC: Random House. 211, 222.

Anderson, C.M., Polcari, A.M., McGreenery, C.E., Maas, L.C., Renshaw, P.F., and Teicher, M.H. 1999. Cerebellar vermis blood flow: associations with psychiatric symptoms in child abuse and ADHD. Society for Neuroscience Abstracts, 25(part2), 1637.

Chance, B. 2006. Detecting Deception. Gazette. 68:2. www.gazette.rcmp.gc.ca/article-en.html?&article_id=246

Dapice, A. N. 2006. Stalking Research: Ethical and Legal Issues. Stop Stalking Conference, Tulsa, OK. www.tkwolf.com.

Fisher, H. 2004. Why We Love. NYC: Henry Holt.

Hall, D. M. 1998. Victims of stalking. In J. R. Meloy, ed., The Psychology of Stalking: Clinical and Forensic Perspectives. San Diego, California: Academic Press.

Meloy, J. Reid. 2006. The Scientific Pursuit of Stalking. San Diego: Specialized Training Services.

Meloy, J.R. 1998. The Psychology of Stalking: Clinical and Forensic Perspectives. San Diego, California: Academic Press

Myers, I. B. with P. B. Briggs. 1980. Gifts Differing. Palo Alto, CA: Consulting Psychologists Press.

Pathe, R., Mullen, P. 1997. The impact of stalkers on their victims. British Journal of Psychiatry, 170:12-17.

Roberts, A. R. & Dziegielewski, S. F. 1996, Assessment, typology, and intervention with the survivors of stalking. Aggression and Violent Behavior. 1, 359-368.

Sapolsky, R. 1996. Why stress is bad for your brain. Science, 273:749-750.

Stalking Resource Center –National Center for Victims of Crime (www.ncvc.org/src) (with stalking laws)

The National Center for Victims of Crime. 2007. State Laws Falling Short of Current Stalking Realities, p. 2. http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/AGP.Net/Components/documentViewer/Download.aspxnz?DocumentID=41821

US Department of Justice, Office of Community Oriented Policing Services, 2002, Creating an effective Stalking Protocol. pp. 78-96.

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